Pass it Around

"If I made records for my own pleasure, I would only record Charley Patton songs." - Bob Dylan

Dick Clark Farmer John Primal Beat Copout and Dirty Filthy Sex Rock and Roll

Now that some time has elapsed and the accolades have faded,  I give you the greatest thing the late Dick Clark ever did...he presented the Premieres and Farmer John in 1964.

Nearly every Dick Clark obit said he was responsible for making rock and roll safe for if that was a good thing.  It was the WORST thing.  Rock and Roll is supposed to be as unsafe and filthy as race music was in the 1950s.  Raw, dirty and sweaty sexual grinding just outside of town.  Dick Clark helped cut the balls off rock and roll and in turn set it on the way to becoming an enormous cash machine.  Usually not one for the performers.

Let's all sing the entire chorus.  Ready?  "Whooh A oooh"

Farmer John was written by Don and Dewey.  Don was Sugarcane Harris.  Don and Dewey were basically the Righteous Brothers, but earlier and African-American.

That said, I was looking up Farmer John because I have this ridiculous postcard here.  It comes with a poem and a description making it seem like an artifact in the Met or something.  It ain't.  It's a pumpkin, it isn't art, and gussying it up with a flowery poem and detailed notes about the construction doesn't change it. It is a pumpkin with corn-cob arms, not a sculpture.
Farmer John was one of the first songs any punk group learned in the 1960s.  Like every farmer's daughter joke going back centuries, it was about doing the farmer's daughter, no more and no less. They may have sung the word "love" but it was temporary and she'd be left in the barn in the morning.  I hate to be blunt, but there you go.  Farmer John carried a pitchfork because he knew that's all they were singing about and he loved his daughter even if the Premieres didn't.  That story and song is as old as fathers and daughters have lived in the same cave.

Newspapers used to call rock and roll "primal" because decorum and gentile society prevented them from writing what it really was.  They couldn't say it was about porking the farmer's daughter. Journalistic copout. 

See the really short guy on the left, whose bass guitar is as  big as he is?  The guy so shy he barely gets outside the curtain?   He started playing the guitar to get laid.  He loved music, of course, but still.  Most of the great rock and rollers are short and a bit insecure.   That's why they stand on a stage, even if it is only one foot higher than the dance floor in a puke-filled juke look taller, to wave their hips and to get chicks.

Some great rock and rollers were gay, but even they started out to get chicks.  They were confused.  Some figured it out.  Some didn't.  Who cares.

Check out Dick at the end.  "Nice to see you gentlemen"   Thanks for presenting the gentlemen,  Dick.

Neil Young, a man who has more or less retained the power of punk his entire career, recorded Farmer John too, and he did it the way it was supposed to be done.  I'll find it and put it at the end here.  

Nearly every blues song was about sex or the lack of sex.  Just like those backwards redneck preachers said it was and tried to stamp it out.  At it's best, that is exactly what it was.  Loud, pounding, dirty sex, and a bonus if both participants liked it.  What those preachers forgot was that we are here to procreate...and if some music helps the kids forget the bomb for a while, get down and rut, good.

Screw you.  We didn't invent the bomb.  Where's your daughter.

Back when equally pubescent hormone filled white guys in the hills added trashy honky-tonk to it, it didn't change much, but it did get soaked up with some with booze.  Later the hippies, with their privilege and belly-button searching, added psychedelics. But even then it was about screwing, only now while gazing up at day-glo posters on the ceiling.

Once in a while the band would throw in a ballad for slow dancing, but that was a nod to the chick's emotions.  "After" sex..the cuddle.   

"New Wave" songs were about masturbating.  Shocked?  Please.  What the hell did you think "Turning Japanese" meant?   Ask any woman to imitate man's face during orgasm.  There you go. 

There were "girl groups" but I really haven't figured them out yet.

Farmer John Postcard collection Jim Linderman No Date